Monday, February 15, 2010

Cervelli Hath Better Watch His MF'ing Back

From today's Daily News:

"Francisco Cervelli stopped playing winter ball in his native Venezuela after he was struck in the head by a hitter's backswing during a game, he said after a recent workout at the Yankees' minor-league complex."

Most casual fans would pass this off as concidence and bad luck, but those of us in the know already know this was a sign from God that he wants his son, Jesus, behind the plate for the Bombers as soon as possible, and he just plain isn't going to let Frankie Cervelli stand in his son's way.  You can stretch out the hammies all you want and wear as much protective catching gear possible, but if the Man Upstairs wants your ass on the bench, it's going to happen.

Cervelli should just be thankful that he was only out for a month; that was a warning shot from the Heavenly Father.  If Cervelli knows what's good for him, he'll show up at camp, continue to work well with the pitchers, hit just little enough to justify his place as a backup, and not do anything to create any buzz about him being Jorge's long-term replacement.  The consequences of such actions are so great that I shudder to even think about them.  And he doesn't even have Gene Monahan around to tend to his injuries.  The pieces are all coming together and God has spoken; The Son must be allowed to take his rightful place behind the plate.

(Cue the angelic music and the doves being released)

Am I making WAYYYYYYYY too big a deal out of this kid?  Of course I am.  But why shouldn't I?  There hasn't been a Yankee position prospect this highly touted since Jeter, and we all know how he turned out.  And for every Jeter there have been far too many Drew Hensons and Ricky Ledees so pardon me if I get a little amped up about the best position guy to come through the system in almost 20 years. 

P.S.- The literary BJs to Montero aren't going to stop until he gets to the Majors either, so fucking get used to it.